…most of the time…

NOTE: Pastors and/or church goers appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real Christians, living for Jesus or dead, is purely coincidental.

Duplicity.

If I could use one word to describe the entire Chuck Phelps drama (and I can, because it’s my blog), it would be duplicity.

Did Dr. Chuck Phelps lie?

Yes –

– and no.

There can be no debate that back in New Hampshire over a decade ago, Dr. Phelps stood in front of his Trinity Baptist Church congregation and misled them regarding the Ernie Willis-Tina Dooley Anderson connection – or at least that was the outcome, if not the intention. You see, Dr. Phelps really had no choice: this was how he was trained – this was the result of what he believed (and still believes).

“It’s not the responsibility of the church to close its doors to people who have real problems and issues,” Dr. Phelps said on ABC’s 20/20², “No matter how heinous. They’ve always been allowed to be part of the church under careful guidelines.”

This is the minister, the reconciler speaking – the part of Dr. Phelps that yearns to take what is unacceptable and restore it. Certainly that is part of the church’s ministry. We must assume, then, that this was the reason Dr. Phelps seemed to “protect” Ernie Willis, Willis’ wife (then) and the Willis children. At the same time, and in a different form, that “protection” was extended to Tina Anderson with her compliance and the permission of Tina’s mother, Christine Leaf.

But what of Pastor Phelps’s secular legal obligations?

According to Dr. Phelps’ contemporaneous notes (October 1997), he felt he had fulfilled his legal obligations by consulting with his attorney, notifying the Concord police, the New Hampshire Division for Children, Youth & Families and Tina’s mother. After contacting these various parties and receiving no response (except from Tina’s mother, Mrs. Leaf), Dr. Phelps was left to handle the situation in a way that corresponded with his training and beliefs as a minister and overseer of the flock he understood the Lord had put in his charge.

As far as Dr. Phelps was concerned, he was doing the work that no one else, secular or sacred, would care to do. In his mind, the primary concern was for the souls of Ernie and Tina – that was his job – his duty. The negligence of the state’s secular governmental agencies was only of a secondary concern. In fact, their lack of concern or involvement only reinforced the distrust and disdain for state and federal government that a majority of IFB pastors already possess.

To me, that was the reason Dr. Phelps quickly gave up on the Concord police and the DCYF.

Once again the secular had failed and it was up to the Sacred to save soul – and body.

Now – the “Clowns on the left” –

Because of my attempts to actually understand why Dr. Phelps acted the way he did, I have been vociferously denounced in uneducated and vulgar terms that I refuse to recite here on this blog. This, folks, is how Bob Jones University graduates treat their fellows –

It’s why we love “The Fortress of Faith” so freakin’ much.

The love just oozes forth.

These people on the left, consisting of professing Christians, fellow graduates and (a few) former employees of BJU, thought (and still think) it was a good idea to summon the power of the mainstream media and embrace the secular – their reaction to the Sacred that, in their lives, had failed them in dramatic ways.

So, we end up with all independent fundamental Baptist churches labeled as a “cult” and such unbiased narration as this…

“A frightened young girl was forced to stand before the congregation…”

“Like a scene from the Salem Witch Trials, she was forced to confess sin…”

“Banished, sent away from her church and her home in disgrace…”

And men – all of those men – are responsible for “a patriarchal view of the world [that] somehow encourages this type of [abusive] behavior.”

“It was male power that has allegedly led to serious abuses.”

“Men are in charge – women are in a subordinate role.”

In the entire ABC 20/20 piece, all men appearing in the broadcast (except for three) were portrayed as power-hungry, authoritarian and having the potential for abuse. These abusive males that make up “the old boys network” have a clear modus operandi when it comes to handling rape victims or victims of any other type of abuse:

Abuse → Shamed Confession → Shunned → Banished → Forgive → Forget

The only reason this ridiculous reasoning and biased conjecture gains any traction at all is that –

Sometimes – it actually happens.

Among independent fundamental Baptist churches, there are men (women, according to scripture, are not allowed to pastor a congregation) who are power hungry, who are authoritarian, who are abusive and who do subject all women to minor and subordinate roles.

That’s the nature of the word “independent.” Each IFB congregation has the responsibility to police their own pastor – something rarely taught or acknowledged. The pastor must never be allowed to assume the mantle of authority that allows him to dictate “his way or the highway.” The congregation is not without fault in the Phelps/Willis/Anderson case (and the three representatives of TBC on 20/20 admit as much.) They relinquished their responsibility as a congregation and gave up their power to restrain and monitor their pastor with disastrous results.

And “the old boys network”?

Yes – it’s there –

- and, no – it’s not.

The connections are obvious – no sense in denying it.

 But the connections are incidental, not designed.

But the protection afforded the inexpert judgment of Dr. Phelps by BJU (i.e., keeping Phelps on the BJU Cooperating Board of Trustees) only served to reinforce distrust, acrimony and belief that “The Network” was by design and was to be preserved at all costs.

Trinity Baptist Church’s current pastor, BJU graduate Brian Fuller, a much younger man than Dr. Phelps, stated on 20/20 that if he were pastor during the Ernie Willis/Tina Anderson incident, Ernie Willis would not have been allowed to stay in the church, but would have been “out the door.”

Yet, Daniel Leaf, husband of Christine Leaf and Tina’s abusive step-father, was allowed to attend TBC – even to the point of allowing him to sing in the church’s choir – “because he [Dan Leaf] was watched and chaperoned.”

This is Pastor Fuller utilizing his seminary training acting in his ministering, redemptive mode – the Sacred at work.

But when asked if he warned the TBC congregation about current members listed as state registered sexual offenders, Pastor Fuller said, no, he did not.

“They,” Pastor Fuller said, referring to his congregation, “they have the tools [the New Hampshire Registration of Sexual Offenders website] for that.”

Reliance on the secular to protect the Sacred.

Duplicity again.

And here I am – stuck in the middle.

—————

¹”Stuck in the Middle (with You)”, Stealer’s Wheel, 1972

²Quotes are taken from “Shattered Faith”, 20/20, broadcast 4/8/2011

I was sitting in a graduate Bible class at Bob Jones University being taught by Dr. Richard Rupp – better known as “Falstaff” (a character he repeatedly played in University Classic Player’s Productions of Shakespeare) – where we spent several weeks discussing the surveying and purchasing of church property.

This is the class where I first heard the word “perk” associated with property – “Will the property perk, men? This is extremely important! Don’t buy it if it doesn’t perk. The property must perk!”

I pulled my notes from this class (which was all male and associated with pastoring a church) – we spent over half of the classes on two things: 1) church budgets, and 2) church property. Whatever was left over was devoted to managing challenging situations that may crop up in the body of the church congregation (most had to do with money).

Way back then I realized that the training these future BJU IFB preachers were receiving was skewed in the wrong direction – away from ministering and toward holding and managing the position of minister.

This class was only a part of the seminary training that produced the pastor that many of you know as Dr. Charles (Chuck) Phelps.

Strange that, of all things, Dr. Phelps mentions this on his home page at drchuckphelps.com…

He must have taken the same class.

Certainly there is no teacher like experience and, hopefully, by now, Dr. Phelps realizes that all of the budgets and “perking” properties mean absolutely nothing if the minister forgets to circumspectly minister to the souls in his charge.

In the words of the great 20th Century theologian, Don Henley –

“You’d better hang on tooth and nail; The Wolf is always at the door.”

For those directly involved and personally affected by the whole Chuck Phelps debate, it may be, and probably is, difficult to see a positive side to all of this –

But there certainly is one.

A majority of Independent Fundamentalist Baptists* are commonly taught to believe that all problems – every problem, including physical problems and mental problems – can be cured by the personal acceptance of Jesus Christ, making Him “Lord of your life”, accepting the Bible as the literal words and Word of God and “getting involved” in a local Independent Fundamental Baptist church. While all of this will certainly improve the lives of some, not every problem can be or will be addressed or remedied by becoming “born again.”

This attitude or belief that Christ will overcome and defeat all of life’s problems leads to Independent Fundamental seminaries teaching their ministerial students that secular intervention is rarely (if ever) necessary. Even “man’s law” can be superseded by the will or word of God.

I mentioned a “positive side” –

Dr. Chuck Phelps should serve as an example to all IFB ministers and ministerial students that the ignorance of, or the refusal of, professional, secular intervention can devastate lives, taint or ruin a ministry and affect the minister’s family and reputation.

If, for example, instead of opening up the Old Testament and attempting to solve Tina Anderson’s problems through perceived Biblical means, what if Dr. Phelps had contacted a trained psychotherapist outside of the church to counsel Tina? Would the outcome have been different? I believe it would – and we wouldn’t be discussing this situation now fifteen years later.

I once heard a Bob Jones University trained IFB pastor declare from the pulpit (more than once) that there can never be such a thing as a “Christian psychologist” – “if the patients in the psych wards of every hospital would get saved, there would be no one left to treat!”

What many of you call “lying” (“Chuck Phelps LIED to his congregation!”) was just Dr. Phelps following his training – training that said psychologists, psychiatrists, psychotherapists and other types of secular counselors are un-Christian and wrong. It would be a sin for a man of God to follow their advice or to in any way rely on their ungodly secular counsel.

And – we end up with a pastor counseling a statutory rape victim by reading Deuteronomy 22 to her – that’s all he had to work with…

Also, there is the mistaken notion that forgiveness is a panacea for all evil –

Bad news, folks – it’s not.

Forgiveness – true forgiveness, is God’s to bestow.

But for us humans, some things are unforgivable –

The taking of innocence from the innocent is one of them.

According to all of the testimony I’ve read, it was suggested to Tina Anderson that she should “grant forgiveness” to those who had inexcusably harmed her in unspeakable ways. From my knowledge of what was taught in ministerial classes at BJU, I believe Tina was instructed to do this “for her own good” so she could “move on with her life” –

Instead – what Tina really needed was an advocate – someone to stand by her side as she sought recompense for what had been forcefully taken from her. But this type of advocacy is just not taught in the hallowed halls of independent fundamental seminaries such as Bob Jones University. Tina had to wait for the secular for advocacy and, eventually, justice.

Look at what could have been avoided – if only…

For me, it’s easy to see why many of you believe Dr. Phelps is a liar – but – at the same time, I can understand why he did what he did – and to Dr. Phelps, it wasn’t lying at all.

He was only following his training.

If I had the power to do so, I would require that every IFB ministerial student study the “Phelpsian Paradigm” –

And, once they entered the ministry, partner with a good psychotherapist –

And pray that they never need them.

—————

*I realize that not all independent fundamentalist Baptists are the same and I don’t intend to paint with a “broad brush.”  Certainly there are those that are trying to change things out there and those brave souls, though few in number, are much appreciated.

I believed I knew the facts:

– the guilty (Ernie Willis) was serving time in prison and,

– Pastor Phelps, although guilty of no crime, was responsible for mishandling the entire situation and showed (for a pastor of a large church) poor judgment.

In my eyes, and the eyes of others, Pastor Phelps had become an example of how ill equipped some pastors are when it comes to handling sexual crimes (both common and deviant) within the Independent Fundamental Baptist church.

Dr. Phelps removed himself from the Bob Jones University Cooperating Board of Trustees rather than remain and be the focal point for continued attacks on the University – myself and many others considered the whole episode to be over.

But that was not the case. Ludicrous comparisons between BJU and the Penn State molestation scandal were drawn. It did not matter that Dr. Phelps had committed no crime and had resigned from the BJU Cooperating Board. Various vociferous groups continued to use Dr. Phelps’ name as a rallying cry against those that abuse.

All proportion was gone and lost. It was pointless to argue. I was tired of it.

Shortly after I made public my Phelps exhaustion, I was contacted privately by individuals who know Dr. Phelps personally, who have worked with Dr. Phelps and were part of Trinity Baptist Church (Concord, NH) in the mid to late 1990’s when the Willis/Anderson situation presented itself.

What follows are their words, written by one of their number…

My heart has been repeatedly grieved as I have read the attacks and the ensuing comments about Pastor Chuck Phelps regarding the Tina Anderson situation. I have been reticent to add my two cents, as I have seen the caustic and unbiblical approach to this situation. It appears that the bitterness of many people has oozed together to create a poisonous venom that eagerly stings anyone who does not agree with them.

However, I am determined that I cannot merely stand by and allow truth to be trampled and disregarded without at least my feeble attempt to defend it.

We were on church staff at Trinity Baptist Church at the time of these unfortunate events. My family knows Pastor Phelps well, and we also know Tina and her family as well as the Willis family. It was appalling and sickening that Mr. Willis would take advantage of Tina’s vulnerability. She had endured a difficult childhood and needed much attention, as well as a stable father figure.

In the fall of 1997, Tina repeatedly placed herself in a contact with Mr. Willis. She was the family babysitter. “Rape” was not mentioned at the time when Tina came to Pastor Phelps, already pregnant. Statutory rape is certainly a legitimate label, because she was 15. However, I never heard of violence until the recent media onslaught took the situation into a new echelon of hype. My logic would argue that if a girl was raped and she was unwilling to report it initially, why would she then place herself voluntarily in a situation alone with her rapist a second time? I understood that she continued driving lessons with Mr. Willis following the initial incident. I don’t recall when she terminated her babysitting job with the family, but we had certainly not heard of any problems until she reported the pregnancy to Pastor Phelps.

The news blindsided and grieved us all.

What if we were to conclude that Tina was forcibly raped, instead of the consensual relationship as she initially mentioned it? Within 24 hours that she came to Chuck Phelps, he reported it to the Concord Police Department. He even has the time and the name of the officer. When nothing happened regarding the case, he reported it a second time. Once again, he has the date, time, and name of the officer. It seems that the weight of responsibility lies with the Concord Police, especially after an incident has been reported twice. Whether it was violent rape or statutory rape, the situation needed police attention. After having reported it twice, why is Phelps solely culpable for this failure on the part of the Concord Police Department? Did Tina and/or her mother also make concerted efforts to bring Mr. Willis to justice?

Meanwhile, as a spiritual leader, he was trying to deal with the confession of Tina and Mr. Willis. Biblically, the goal is restoration. Obviously, sin had become a monster. However, 1 John 1:9† promises forgiveness, and the people of Trinity Baptist Church were also willing to forgive and encourage and open their arms in restoration. Tina told Pastor Phelps that she wanted to publicly make a confession – it was not something he forced her to do. Mr. Willis also said the same. Because of the legal ramifications of a pending criminal case, Phelps was advised to not publicly link the two at the time of the confession. It wasn’t hard to connect the dots when two people stand up on the same evening and publicly ask forgiveness of God and the church for the same sin, but the situations were not publicly linked. The church wept and hugged and encouraged Tina, Mrs. Willis and her children, and also Mr. Willis. Those of us who experience forgiveness of our own enormous weight of sin should never withhold that forgiveness from others. Such a brazen attitude of unforgiveness would be like spitting in the very face of the gospel!

Despite forgiveness, sin has consequences. A baby was on the way. Considerations were made as to how Tina could most easily bear the baby and then return, as much as would be possible, to normal life and future as a Christian teenager. Phelps had been a youth pastor in Colorado and knew a loving Christian family there who were open-hearted and rather well-off. They agreed that Tina could live with them, give birth to the baby there, and then return to Concord (NH), able to move on with her future. It gave her a safe place away from the stigma of being there with Willis and the fresh memories.

Was this not only merciful to Tina, but also to Mrs. Willis and her family? Tina was welcomed into an intact Christian family, where she was able to home school, attend church, sing in the choir, and continue to play her flute. From what I understand, she didn’t want to leave after the baby arrived! Furthermore, her location was not a secret. I knew where she was – as did anyone else who wanted to know. I don’t think “out of state” was necessarily the goal – it was merely because the connection was so good with the sweet family in Colorado. Also, Tina and her mom both agreed that it was best. Tina talked about it on ABC News 20/20 as something she felt pressured into at that time, but from my understanding, everyone was very happy with the solution for her to stay with the family in Colorado. She had contact with her mom and others while there, of course.

The Concord Police argue that they could not proceed with the case because Tina had been “whisked away to an undisclosed location out of state.” There is no record – from Phelps or from Tina’s mom – of anyone from Concord Police ever asking of Tina’s location. The failure seems to be once again on the heads of the Concord Police Department.

In the midst of this heartache, what a joy to realize that God used the baby to bring untold happiness to a childless Christian couple who were able to adopt!

Repeatedly, Pastor Phelps is verbally attacked for letting a “predator” remain in church, while humiliating a poor teenager. Mr. Willis was given counseling, accountability, and faithfully attended church. If a “predator” confesses his sin and seeks restitution, what should be our Biblical response? Paul and Moses were murderers. David was a murderer and also a “predator.” Were there consequences? Yes. Was there forgiveness? Yes. In hindsight, whether or not it was brought to Phelps as adultery, perhaps Tina should not have been allowed to give a public confession. However, the goal of that evening was anything but humiliation and condemnation. A public confession led to an incredible public outpouring of Christian love and acceptance. The goal was restoration. There were many people in tears – tears of compassion, tears of grief over the darkness of our sin, and tears of hope.

Regardless of how people sling their mud and condemn Chuck Phelps as a fundamentalist ogre, I stand in his support. Hindsight is always 20-20. Perhaps there are things that he should’ve/could’ve/would’ve done if he ever had to relive the tragedy. Nonetheless, in the midst of it all, I saw a man who was hurting for hurting people and doing his best to act Biblically. Even since this whole affair has recently come to public attention, I have personally heard him praying for those who have been injured by sin and bitterness. He prays for those who “say all manner of evil against him falsely.” (Matthew 5:11). He prays for Tina, and for those who have used her to champion their own stories of abuse.

I’ve heard that Tina was paid up-front for the ABC News 20/20 story. I also have heard things through the airing of [the story] that seem to smack in the face of the events that I knew about in the late 1990′s. To me, it seems that the truth has been twisted and character has been assassinated. To what goal? So the world can mock Christianity and those who seek Biblical answers?

There are sinners in fundamental churches – sinners who commit horrible crimes. There are sinners in Catholic churches – sinners who commit horrible crimes. There are sinners in Methodist, Lutheran and Presbyterian churches, too. There are sinners who don’t attend church. It seems that our solution is not to destroy churches or their leaders, but rather to see sinners find forgiveness and restitution in Christ.

†If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. ~ ESV

NOTE: “Former Church Members” does not mean they have “left the church” – in this case they have moved on to other ministries in other locations.

It was Eric – The Hidalgo Grain Company IT guy.

“Boss, we have a bit of a problem,” Eric said as he handed me three sheets of paper. “Take a look at these.”

I looked at the papers. On each was a screen-shot of The Hidalgo Grain Company blog home page. I quickly read them over.

“Yes, we do, Eric,” I replied, looking again at each of the print-outs, “These aren’t funny at all!”

CLICK to ENLARGE

I finished my perusal and handed the papers back to Eric.

“Re-do,” I said.

As he took the papers back from me, Eric cleared his throat and replied, “Uh – no, Boss, you don’t understand. It’s Roger*.”

“Roger?” I echoed.

“Roger – uh – Roger?”

I looked up at Eric – he was not known for his jokes – and he was just standing there giving me a knowing look, as though he were trying to telepathically communicate something–

“Ooooh,” I finally said, “That Roger – wait – how’d he get a computer?”

This is where I must break away from this riveting repartee to explain about Roger.

And, let me just say, that as CEO, I must assume full responsibility.

CLICK to ENLARGE

Back in the autumn of 2008, we –er– I hired Roger to work as Eric’s assistant in The Hidalgo Grain Company Internet Technology (“IT”) Department. Roger’s job entailed some light code work, networking, server maintenance – nothing too demanding – a good job with little or no stress.

Everything was fine – everyone was happy.

Since Roger was fairly bright and under-utilized, we expanded his duties a bit by assigning Roger the task of surveying (or “trolling”) anti-Bob Jones University websites, which included You Tube and Facebook. Roger’s job was to find quotes that revealed the not-so-hidden agenda of (what came to be known as) “The Disaffected” – to bog down and close down Bob Jones University, not to improve or change the University.

Everything – still fine.

As traffic on these sites and pages increased, it wasn’t long after that, we all noticed a change in Roger. The person who had been a valued and responsible employee at THGC began to let some of his duties slide, preferring to show up for work (late), lock himself in his small office and troll away on Facebook and other sites frequented by The Disaffected.

Then – the trouble started.

First, there was “The Mooning Incident” at the Memorial Day Ceremony at the Aten Cemetery north of Hidalgo. Why Roger felt the need to paint his butt red, white and blue and flash his adorned derriere to this sober assemblage is still a mystery to all of us here at The Hidalgo Grain Company.

Yes – I should’ve fired him then – but I felt sorry for Roger.

We did cut his hours, making sure that he never worked more than 30 hours per week.

CLICK to ENLARGE

Then there was the Restraining Order – Roger could no longer attend our THGC weekly staff meetings at Dooley’s because Dooley’s was less than 1000 feet from The Hidalgo Grade School.

I still thought we could reform Roger, so we Skyped him video of our staff meetings while he complied with the judge’s order by remaining in his THGC office.

But – no – Roger took advantage of my good graces.

Roger secretly organized The Occupy The Hidalgo Grain Company movement, supplying the protestors with maps, beef jerky and Mello Yello.

The final straw was when our IT guy, Eric, discovered that Roger had been using The Hidalgo Grain Company servers to host his own anti-BJU website –

In other words, Roger – poor innocent Roger – had become a member of The Disaffected.

The morning I called Roger into my office with the intention of firing him and discussing severance, Roger showed up, disheveled and smelling of alcohol, vomit and urine. I gave Roger the “your fired” speech –

Roger gave me “The Finger” and walked out.

Do poor Roger a favor & read his blog (click on this image)...

He never cashed his severance-pay checks.

Reason being, Roger had been sent to the Ashmore Estates Psychiatric Hospital in Ashmore, Illinois for therapy and treatment. He was not allowed to have or use a computer.

I repeated my question to Eric – “How did Roger get a computer in the psych ward?”

“Apparently,” Eric sighed, “Roger dressed in drag and fooled some of the orderlies into thinking that he, Roger, was a staff nurse named ‘Regina’ – that’s how he gained access to the net and the time he needed to spoof our blog.”

I nodded.

Eric sat down.

We both stared out the west window toward Fred Carr’s farm and the orange glow of the Illinois sunset beyond.

“It’s not your fault, Boss,” Eric said, breaking the silence between us.

I said nothing, but continued to stare into the fading glow beyond.

I knew deep down –

It was my fault.

Get better, Roger!

—————

*Roger’s last name is not used for obvious reasons…

Hard to believe that’s a controversial statement, but it is. The phrase was part of a speech made by Republican Presidential candidate Rick Santorum in the early hours of January 4th, 2012 as he acknowledged his out-of-nowhere near win in Iowa.

“God has given us this great country to allow his people to be free, has given us that dignity because we are a creation of his. We need to honor that creation – whether it’s the sanctity of life in the womb or the dignity of every working person in America to fulfill their potential…”

Not being a fan or follower of Santorum, I watched his speech out of curiosity. Santorum was supposed to place fourth or fifth or last – not tie for first. So, his showing in Iowa prompted me to watch and, in the process of watching, take note of the “sanctity of life in the womb” phrase.

It was just a few days earlier (January 1, 2012) while I was vacationing in Pensacola, Florida that a well-known “abortion clinic” (now going under the moniker of “American Family Planning”) was fire-bombed and burned.

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For those of you who don’t know, this same clinic has been the scene of many violent and deadly acts:

1984, Christmas Day – “The Ladies Center” as it was known then, was pipe-bombed. It was early morning and there were no deaths or injuries. The three perpetrators of the bombing considered it a “gift to Jesus on His birthday.”

1994, July – Anti-abortion protestor Paul Hill shot to death Dr. John Britton (who provided services at the clinic) and escort/bodyguard James Barrett (a volunteer who escorted the clinic workers and patients through the usual gauntlet of protestors). Paul Hill was executed by the state of Florida for the murders in September, 2003.

2012, January – The clinic, now re-named “American Family Planning” and under different ownership, was once again fire-bombed via “Molotov cocktail” tossed by a homeless man, Bobby Joe Rogers, who admitted to being “violently opposed” to abortion. There were no injuries, but fire gutted the building.

Before many of you write off bomb-thrower Bobby Joe Rogers as an uneducated nut-job, consider some facts about the owner of the Pensacola clinic – a very educated medical doctor – Dr. Steven Brigham, currently under arrest in New Jersey for crimes committed in Maryland.

The crimes?

1) Perforating the uterus of an 18 year-old girl during an abortion procedure causing life threatening injury,

2) Storage in a freezer chest of approximately 35 fetuses (not “fetuses”, but unborn babies beyond the 24-week legal limit) in Dr. Brigham’s Elkton, Maryland clinic.

Knowing this about the clinic’s owner, Dr. Brigham, leaves me to wonder: Who’s the bigger “nut” – Brigham or Rogers?

One could argue that Bobby Joe Rogers, poorly educated and possibly (probably) mentally unbalanced, only wanted to destroy a wood-frame structure – a structure that provided the shelter necessary for the ending of unwanted lives.

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While Dr. Steven Brigham, highly educated, degreed and licensed in multiple states, surely knew what he was doing when he and his colleague practiced the type of medicine that resulted in a freezer full of 35 unborn children – 35 lives that will never see their potential.

And this brings me back to Santorum’s statement – “the sanctity of life in the womb”…“to fulfill their potential…”

I am not overtly political – but I will say this: I could never support (let alone vote for) a man (or woman) or a political party that enthusiastically supports the funding or the practice of abortion – a practice that is not a form of “birth control”, but the purposeful and callous ending of an innocent unfulfilled human life.

Yet, that’s what the Democratic Party heartily endorses and protects via the DNC chair (Debbie Wasserman-Shultz) and the taxpayer funding of Planned Parenthood under the protection of Democratic Senate leaders and their in-power Executive Branch Team of Obama/Biden.

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Why would any professing Christian – especially a Bob Jones University graduate – side with or allow themselves to be used by such individuals?

Creation – Life – however you believe it transpired or came about – is a rare and precious commodity.

Doesn’t it make more sense to error on the side of Life?

—————

Sources: Pensacola News Journal (pnj.com), Planned Parenthood Annual Report

It was Diane (Gustafson) Pinner that informed me that I was “showing my ignorance” after I made some disparaging remarks about being forced to attend the Verdi opera, Aïda. For those of you just as ignorant, Aïda is pronounced “Eye-ee-duh” – and I believe I made some remark like, “I’d rather ‘I-ee-da’ pizza than go to this opera.”

And Mrs. Pinner (faculty member and violinist for the Bob Jones University Symphony Orchestra and daughter of Dr. Dwight Gustafson, Dean of the School of Fine Arts) heard me – and, thus, the “ignorance” comment.

Nothing special about Aïda – three hours of excruciating pain –

Or as I like to say, “Slow death by music.”

Growing up as I did in southeast central Illinois, I was never exposed to classical music of any kind. Now, I was familiar with the violin (we did not call it a “fiddle”) – there was a man in our church (Francis Fulton) who used to play hymns for “special music.” Then there was the traveling BJU “Brass Ensembles” and, later, a girl from our church (Pam Sowers) majored in voice at BJU and returned to sing a few – are they called “arias”(?) – from various operas one summer in the very early 1970’s.

And – there were those odd classical radio stations from the University of Illinois that broadcast at the beginning of the FM dial – but they were nothing more than a curiosity and a gauge of how well the FM radio antenna was working. (“Oh, wow! Look how good Champaign/Urbana is coming in!”)

In my early teens, I did discover one orchestra I could listen to over and over – I even bought one of their albums on 8-track – the Electric Light Orchestra…

By the time I began doing my time at BJU, the only thing I knew about classical music and opera came via Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd (What’s Opera, Doc? & Rabbit of Seville).

So, I was less than impressed when I saw my first BJU Artist Series opera.

In fact, the only time I can say I truly enjoyed an opera, was at the end of another Verdi opera, Il Trovatore, which I referred to as “Il Travolta”. It was at the end, during all of the bow-taking and applauding, someone on the Rodeheaver stage crew missed a cue and dropped the heavy fire curtain down on one poor soloist that was still basking in the glow of the spot-light.

:: Whoomp! ::

I can still picture that soloist’s bald head pinned to the stage floor by that heavy curtain…

That was the first and only time I ever gave an opera a standing ovation.

It was only natural then, that the classical music gods (such as they are) would eventually have their revenge.

The girl I met at BJU, dated at BJU, married after BJU, the mother of my children –

Was (and still is) a concert violinist.

I was sitting next to my future father-in-law in the War Memorial Chapel in 1987 during my fiancée’s violin recital when, during the unaccompanied Bach composition, my future dad-in-law leaned over and whispered, “I guess you have to really like classical music to like this one…”

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Should I have told him he was just “showing his ignorance”?

No – I – don’t – think – so.

Fast-forward twenty-plus years –

I’ve lost count of the number of concerts, recitals and performances I’ve attended Post-BJU – some I’ve even had to pay to attend –

Talk about Classical Music Karma…

I’ve been forced to hang around a lot of classical musicians – from my wife’s fellow string players (and students) to flautists to oboists to brass players (whom I like to refer to as “brass-holes”) to percussionists to operatic vocalists – even, occasionally, the maestro himself – and you know what I’ve discovered?

They are just as ignorant and vile as the rest of us – if not more so.

In fact, the more I learned about so-called “classical music” – its composers, its conductors, and its performers – the more revulsion I felt. Operas contain everything from murder to rape to selling your soul to Satan – and many classical compositions were composed by sex addicts, drug addicts, Anti-Semites and religious fanatics –

Bob Jones University, the School of Fine Arts and all of those involved in the Bob Jones University Music Department used to constantly uphold the virtues of classical music – its stability, intrinsic value, serious aesthetics, reflection, the music’s ability to “transform our sensibilities” and as a “resource that is received and retained.”

Leaving the uneducated human being better than he was before.

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What a load of bovine fecal matter.

Listen – over twenty years of experience and exposure has shown me that there is absolutely nothing redeeming about classical music – the composers, the conductors and the players are no better (maybe worse) than all of those “pop” musicians you’ve heard about.

Am I still “showing my ignorance”?

Oh no – not now.

I am well aware…

Curtain, please.

But he’ll be with her till the day he finds,

A stranger, lying in his arms*

~ Al Stewart/Peter White, “End of the Day”, Time Passages, 1978

This blog will seem a little strange to some of you –

Especially after all of this talk about abuse at Bob Jones University.

The Red Shirts and the Red Ballooners would have you believe that almost everyone at BJU is abused – or has been abused – or, if they haven’t yet been abused, then there’s a BJU Representative waiting to abuse them…

Whoa – for a moment there I think I was channeling Annie Lennox‡…

With all of the abuse going on at BJU, is it possible to develop and maintain a normal, healthy relationship at Bob Jones University?

If you analyze many of the BJU-spawned marriages, there are the good, the bad and the divorced – like any other place. Just because two Christians meet at BJU, there’s no “magic”, no “positive faith attitude” that will keep them together any more or less than any other couple out there. One huge problem with Christian marriages is the silly attitude that “God will keep us together” or “the Holy Spirit will make us one” – no – a Christian marriage is every-bit-as-hard as a pagan marriage. Maybe more so – because we Christians usually hold each other to a higher standard.

Those of you who “dated” at Bob Jones University may be familiar with the Dating Parlor (or was it officially called the “Social Parlor”?) – most BJU students referred to it as the “DP”. To the virgin visitor unfamiliar with BJU, the DP appears to be a large furniture show room – couches, chairs, tables, lamps, fireplaces – all displayed for potential customers to purchase. But – no – those couches are for couples to sit on and talk – not touch – just talk and stare – but not too intensely –

And for many of us who dated at BJU, this large showroom, the DP, became the norm.

Once the peculiarity of the DP wore off, you and your date started to notice many of the other couples who frequented the DP early and often…

For example, my wife and I had nicknames for some of them – I can still see in my mind one couple we called “the Schleps” – but there were others –

One couple I remember would pick a center couch and pray together – not sitting up, but kneeling in front of the couch where all could see. (They broke up later that year.) There were others that would sit studying the whole time, barely acknowledging the other’s presence – and still other couples that stared unmoving into each other’s eyes – making “eye babies” as we called it.

Always the tease... Sermon notes with lip prints...

Another couple we knew at the time fought daily – and the guy treated the girl like crap – at one point throwing some of her notebooks in a trashcan and laughing at her as she dug them out.

And – yet – somehow – they stayed together…

Dating and developing a relationship at BJU was hard enough – but add on to that the constant fear of being “socialed” (socialed = banned from seeing one another for a given length of time) for touching (even accidentally) or just being “too close”.

Oh, yes – I experienced this. Just one example – my wife (my fiancée at the time) was saying good-bye to me in front of the (now) old Fine Arts Building and, as she still does on occasion, made a “kissy” smooch-smooch noise – you know, a “kiss from afar” –

That’s all it took for one staff member (Mrs. Ramsey) to stop us both and make it known to my wife she’d better cool it or we’d be socialed.

But – we got away with a lot more – there was one part of the Fine Arts Building (near the Music Library) where we got a few real kisses in.

Hear that, Mrs. Ramsey? Ha!

Bob Jones University is what it has always been – hypocritical, controlling, parental and full of flaws –

But –

I will always have a soft spot for the institution that allowed me to look for love (and find it) in such a weird –er– unusual place.

My point in all of this is to say – yes – relationships at BJU may be strange and strained – but only because of the peculiar circumstances you find yourself in. Take away the atypical dating arrangements and what you find is a normal run-of-the-mill relationship.

No better – no worse – than anywhere else.

Abuse?

No – not at all.

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*I changed the original pronouns from feminine to masculine.

‡For those of you unfamiliar with the best decade ever, the 1980′s, Annie Lennox was lead singer in the group Eurythmics – the song was “Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)”, 1983.

I love winter.

I will be the first person to put on my leg warmers, mittens, and hat. I will be the first person prepared for the “snow” that falls in Florida (it’s actually sleet or something). The cool, dry air is my home and I sometimes wish I could live in it the whole year. My friends and family think I’m crazy but I love it.

I also adore Christmas time. Not only because it’s a wonderful chance to spend unforgettable moments with family, but most importantly because it marks the birth of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.

About six years ago, my family and I went on a Christmas vacation extravaganza. We had a hotel reservation in Destin at the huge Hilton Garden Inn. I was still in love with winter even then and as we drove down I drew pictures on my brand new notebook with my freshly sharpened Crayola Crayons and just enjoyed the shiver-worthy feeling of smooth air in the car.

My brother was asleep next to me in the backseat and my mom was crocheting a blanket while my dad drove. We were all excited and ready to settle in. The drive took about 2 ½ hours but when we arrived, it was well worth the long trip. The hotel was BEAUTIFUL.

Anytime you go to a Hilton hotel you are most certainly going to be amazed by the beauty. We had a top floor room with an ocean view and as we entered into the room, we were all wonderstruck by the amazing view of the sea waves meeting the horizon somewhere out in the distance.

As we got comfortable, we all started to feel a little peckish. It was around 7 o’clock on Christmas night so we decided it was time to head out to find somewhere to eat. Of course, we didn’t realize that, along with the hotel’s restaurant, almost every restaurant this side of Siberia was closed. We drove for 45 minutes with growling stomachs and searching eyes trying to find one eating establishment that wasn’t closed. We had been searching for almost an hour when we saw the sign.

It was the normal bright yellow block letters that stood out more brightly than usual against the black night sky – it said “Wffe House”.

My dad said, “Well no other place is open, so is everyone okay with eating here?”

We all agreed but secretly were thinking that this was a really strange place to have Christmas dinner. We walked in to the sweet aroma of pancakes and the busy sound of the griddle and stove. The waitress led us to our booth and we sat down all of us feeling like we could not have picked a more interesting place to spend Christmas night.

To this day, I will never forget that night. That Christmas stands out as one of my favorite ever. We stayed – the only people in the restaurant the whole night – and laughed and enjoyed our makeshift Christmas dinner. I ordered a hamburger with a side of hash-browns and a piece of pie; it was the most delicious hamburger I have EVER had.

As we paid and left the restaurant with full bellies and warm hearts, we hopped in the car all feeling sleepy and content. As we drove back to the hotel, my brother happened to look out the window.

“Hey look! Here’s a T.G.I. Friday’s and it’s open!”

We all sat silent for a minute.

My mom spoke up and said, “I can’t believe we missed that!”

We all laughed at our mistake and drove back to the hotel to enjoy the rest of our Christmas.

Years later, we reminisced on that night. We all came to conclusion that we wouldn’t have traded that night at “Wffe House” for anything. We all think back on the wonderful time we had just enjoying our food and each other. T.G.I. Friday’s may have been open, but Waffle House beat them out by far. And I will always hold that memory, and I will never trade it for anything.

Merry “Waffle House” Christmas…

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You can read the entire blog at wonderstruck17.wordpress.com

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NOTE: Strange how kids will remember an incident or an event in a totally different way than the adults.  What I remember about this Christmas was being totally embarrassed that I had forgotten to plan for a Christmas Day evening meal.  I assumed the hotel would have something open – but – no…

Look, I know some of you won’t believe me, but there was life (to a certain extent) before the internet – and cell phones – and texting – and iPads –

– and (cough) blogs –

Difficult to imagine, I know, but for the sake of this blog, try to imagine a world existing without the net.

Christmas, 1985 – I was working for the automotive aftermarket division of a large Swedish bearing company (SKF) and, for three weeks, I was in Fort Lauderdale (Florida) between Thanksgiving and Christmas. It was during that time I first saw the now famous movie, A Christmas Story. After seeing the film (which I absolutely loved and still love), I started thinking about things that say “Christmas” to me.

Now – a more spiritual man than I would not admit this –

The first thing that came to my mind was Charlie Brown.

Specifically, A Charlie Brown Christmas.

But it’s not really the animated cartoon characters or the TV special’s plot or the quoting of the gospel of Luke when Linus explains “that’s what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.” –

It’s the music.

As a kid, I used to love the opening sequence – and the song used in the soundtrack, “Christmas Time is Here” – I guess what drew me to the music was its jazz trio sound – a piano, bass player and drummer – reminded me of Dave Brubeck sans Paul Desmond’s saxophone.

It was that South Florida Christmas in ’85, driving down I-95 to Miami, I decided I needed to find the music to A Charlie Brown Christmas to make Christmas complete.

My search eventually led me to the Dadeland Mall – where I found a small record store near Burdines that carried a few cassettes (no vinyl) of A Charlie Brown Christmas: Vince Guaraldi Trio.

And it was that cassette – I paid too much for – that cassette became my Christmas Soundtrack.

(Not just Christmas – I used to pop that cassette in during all times of the year – the music is that good.)

Since then, I’ve adopted several other Christmas tunes and albums – some traditional – and some not so…

I grew up with Elton John’s music – from making fun of “Bennie and the Jets” on the school bus to listening to my kids sing “Can You Feel the Love Tonight?” from The Lion King. So, in a way, it’s only natural that “Step into Christmas” is my favorite “Rock-Star-Does-Christmas” tune.

Al Stewart’s Time Passages is probably my favorite album of all time. For me it’s one of those albums where I love every-single-song. The title song, “Time Passages”, has a line in it that always conveys the let-down I feel post-Christmas:

“It was late in December, The sky turned to snow. All ‘round the day was going down slow. Night, like a river, was beginning to flow. I felt the beat of my mind go drifting into time passages. Years go falling in the fading light…”

In December, 1980, I was coming out of a church Christmas “pot-luck” dinner in Greenup, Illinois. It was a typical Illinois winter evening – dark, cold, with pellets of wind-blown sleet stinging my cheeks. Starting up my 1968 Ford Galaxie 500 (then still intact) I turned on the radio only to hear the Steely Dan song “Hey Nineteen” for the first time. I was immediately hooked – from that time forward, I still associate “Hey Nineteen” (and the rest of the Steely Dan album Gaucho) with Christmas.

Barry Manilow – yes – that’s right – laugh it up – get it out of your system…

Okay? Can we move on?

Manilow’s Because It’s Christmas was not a discovery I would have made on my own. My wife purchased the CD back in the early ‘90’s and it quickly became a hit with me and the rest of our household. One song in particular, “Silent Night/I Guess there ain’t no Santa Claus”, still cracks me up:

“Sugar plums in my head, Only me in my bed. I guess there ain’t no Santa Claus”

Gives a whole new meaning to silent night.

“Book of Liars”, a track from Walter Becker’s 11 Tracks of Whack, seems an unlikely Christmas song but, as our circle of friends widens and we all age, sometimes relationships break down and dissolve. Homes are lost, kids are shared and holidays become torture. “Book of Liars” reminds me of some of the stories I’ve heard when divorce meets Christmas:

“I can ‘t remember Exactly what it was I thought we had, ‘Cause I waited so long girl and I came so far To find out you’re not always who you say you are…”

“Santa Claus came in late last night Drunk on Christmas wine. Fell down hard in the driveway, Hung his bag out on the laundry line.There’s a Cobra Gunship for his golden boy And there’s a Hello Kitty for his pride and joy…And a silver star in the book of liars by your name.”

And last, a recent addition, from Michael Franks – the tune “Under the Sun” from his album Rendezvous in Rio that reminds me of why Christmas is always best spent in Florida:

“Down 95, We’ll come alive And by the time we get somewhere Near Savannah.Give Winter the slip, It’s well worth the trip To be together Under the sun…”

Christmas should never be what other people say it should be –

You have to make it your own.

Dare to be different.